Regarding my last post

In some ways I didn't observe one of my blog rules with my last post. This is not a political blog or one commenting on contemporary events and the like. I am not good at this and so I rather leave it to others. On the other hand, my blog is about the things that bother me either in a positive or in a negative way. And the tragedy in Boston did bother me a lot. 
Somebody I know was participating the marathon. For one night I wasn't sure if that person was safe and even though I don't know that person very well that fact made the whole event closer and in a way more real for me.
I'm not saying that I am never shocked about bad news because it is something that has happened to strangers - I definitely am shocked and sad when I read or hear about such things. It is frightening to see what people are capable of. Still there is always a certain kind of distance to your own life. That's why we tend to be more shocked when for example something happens in a place we know because that makes the distance smaller. Or the distance gets smaller because somebody we know is in some way affected (as in my case). And naturally everybody hopes that the distance remains as great as possible.
However, as always in such cases, there are people for whom the distance has turned into nothing and who have been directly or indirectly affected. And I can't describe how sorry I am for them. 
I was relieved when I heard that the terrorists have been caught especially as I hope this will be helpful for the victims in any way. 

There is a proverb which says: Every cloud has a silver lining.
For me this silver lining was to see how the rest of the world got together in showing their condemnation of the crime and also their compassion.

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Originally my plan for this post was to write about the things I have done during the last weekend. 

But today it feels wrong to do so: I really was (and am) in a state of shock when I heard the news about the bombing at the Boston Marathon.


So I'll keep silent instead. My thoughts and prayers are with the victims and their relatives.

Love what you have first...

For a while now, Timo and I are on the lookout for a new apartment. We want to have a little more space as we are currently living in an apartment on the top floor and there are some droops (I'm not sure about that word - I mean the pitches of the roof) so that there is not so much room for cupboards etc.
But the real estate market seems to be asleep in our town and we don't seem to be able to find something appropriate (ahem - "seem" seems to be one of my favorite words, sorry!). However, I realized that my wish to move into a new apartment makes me feel more and more uncomfortable in my current place. I mean naturally there are some things that really are uncomfortable for me there but still it is a nice apartment and it really doesn't deserve my discontentment. Besides, my sister always tells me that before something changes for the better in my life I have to love what I have first (that somehow seems to me a contradiction in some instances but I do understand what she means by it).
Another problem is that I don't start to beautify the apartment anymore (usually one of my hobbies) because I'm thinking "We're going to move out of it soon anyway!". 
Now I have come to the conclusion that I have to change my attitude: I have to love what I have and also start with my hobby again. 
That's why I walked around in my apartment today and took some photos of things I like there/things I have made in the past to beautify the apartment/things I have made the past days to beautify my apartment - Never mind if we're not staying there forever!
(Yes: not only empty words - I have already started to put my plans into action!)

Accidental repetition of colors in my bathroom... (I was delighted!)

The frame I finally created by the help of my father in law for a poster I got from my sister (I'm going to paint it black on the weekend).

The wingback which I upholstered myself some years ago.

Cats everywhere! (this one's a gift from my Mama)

A painting, my fairy lights (a present from my sister), a knitted doll (a present from my other sister), an old wooden suitcase I "renovated", two of my handbags (not self-made but always a satisfying view): all in one of our "room-using solutions" - part of our bed protrudes the shelf so we put up the curtain to create a calmer image.

 

Easter Impressions

I had a lovely Easter weekend: Timo (my husband), Emma, Leopold and I went to visit my mother. She is actually living not far from us, just a 15 minute drive with the car. We stayed for three nights and my sister Anke and her husband Adrian were there, too. We laughed and ate a lot, so it was a traditional Easter holiday for us. The only one missing was my other sister Marina.
Unfortunately, the weather still doesn't seem to know that it's spring now - it was bitter cold the whole weekend and this morning I had to scrape ice from the windscreen of my car (something I don't like in winter and definitely hate in spring)! But at least the sun was out today and sooner or later the weather has to get better. 

Some impressions from Easter and Timo's birthday 

A tradition: a lamb  in cake-form

An Easter rabbit from my sister Anke

Easter eggs (I lost the egg-boxing competition against my husband)

The cake I made for Timo's birthday

The pattern for the rabbit is from a book by Arne & Carlos, I think.

Love and Marriage

Since 2011 I am married. Our wedding day was one day after our 10th anniversary. Quite a long probation period!

Now I have started this blog and have posted four posts so far - one introductory post, one about my cats and two more or less about my family/sisters. My husband's reaction to this was: "Interesting to see your priorities: your sisters and the cats are more important to you than I am!"

Of course he wasn't being serious. Still, I decided to dedicate the next post to him as "he is such an important part of my life". However, this turns out to be more difficult than I had thought it would be. 

It is hard to write about the "love of your life" or love in general without sounding cheesy and using tons of bathetic set phrases (for the easier identification I highlighted them with inverted commas above and in the following).

But fact is that I'd be utterly "lost without him"! Even though we are in some respects the complete opposite we seem to complement each other somehow. Not that we don't argue - we argue a lot. I'd say we have minor quarrels every day - but we don't have bigger disputes more than four times a month and I guess that's pretty good, right?

We are both not very romantic. I mean I'd love to be but somehow romantic gestures turn out to be extremely ridiculous or awkward in reality. My aspirations to be more romantic once made me compose a poem for my husband, for example, but it only made him feel extremely weird  and it would be one of his greatest nightmares if I e.g. made a public declaration of love to him. And I am not different in this respect: when we married in the registry office and the registrar played Elton John's Can you feel the love tonight on a CD for us it was a real struggle for me not to laugh out loud.

Now one could say that writing about my husband in my blog somehow is a public declaration of love. So why do I write about him? 
The answer is quite simple: This blog is about all the things that bother, affect or concern me. And when I say that a public declaration of love would be a real nightmare for him (and me), I am talking about the kinds of public acts of self-display where you force other people to witness your presentation. If someone reads this blog, on the contrary, he or she decides to do so him-/herself, so it's quite different.

And in the end I have to say that my "semi-public (i.e. blog-wise) declaration of love" for my husband is in fact a very simple one, no cheesy set phrases, no in-your-face display of affection:
He's my husband and I love him.

Changes

Even though I would like to describe myself as a spontaneous person that embraces changes in her life I must admit that I am not. It probably sounds boring but I love the secure feeling continuity conveys. That's also the reason why I am not a big traveller in spite of the fact that I love to dream about travelling to foreign places. New things and changes always scare me and put me on edge.
Paradoxically, at the same time I never tend to be content with the present situation. I am always like: "If this or that changed in my life, I'd be so much happier!" 
So there I am waiting for things to change and then when finally something changes I am not satisfied either.

However, I try to improve myself in this respect because new things certainly are not always bad and have the potential to make you happier. And there is nothing you cannot get used to.

That's why I plan to try out a lot of new things this year and as the beginning of the year and springtime for me epitomize change, rebirth and the possibility of a new start, I have already started to put this plan into action (this blog is just one example of the new things I am trying out at the moment).

But now my newfound readiness to cope with changes is put to the test. I've mentioned before that my sisters don't live near me. One is living in Ireland and I only see her twice to three times a year. I was able to see the other one more often because she is living in Germany but this weekend I learned that she will soon move to Ireland as well.

Now don't get me wrong: I am very happy for my sister and her husband. They have a house in Ireland and it was clear from the beginning that sooner or later they'd move there. But it also makes me sad because I won't be able to see them as often as before. And I am afraid that later when they start a family I will be a stranger to their kids.

I know that it isn't easy for my sister and her husband as well and that they will be leaving Germany with "one laughing and one crying eye" (a German saying).

Yet I am determined to see the positive aspects of this change as well (or even to fight down my anxieties connected to it).

1. I will have two sisters living in Ireland which practically makes me Semi-Irish as well.
2. I might see them more seldom but at least when we will meet it will be for longer periods of time.
3. When I visit Ireland I have the choice of two accomodations: the artist's chalet situated close to the sea but also close to Galway City and the married couples' modern family house with a romantic air placed in the middle of nowhere.
4. More reasons to visit Ireland!
5. The comforting fact that I know that my other sister now has part of our family close to her.

And in the end I have to stick to what the great Eckhart Tolle has said:

"Some changes look negative on the surface but you will soon realize that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge."

Family

Some changes look negative on the surface, but you will soon realize, that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge. --> http://myzitate.de/stichwoerter.php?q=Veranderung

Leopold and Emma

Today I drove home from work and wasn't in a bad mood at all. I was enthusiastic about my plans for the evening (actually nothing special but at the moment I'm trying to be enthusiastic even about "normal" things and to enjoy my everyday life). However, I had to do the shopping first and an undefinable slimy something on the handle of my shopping cart (which of course, I only noticed when I grabbed the cart and touched it) "made my day". Even my little emergency disinfectant in my handbag and the baby wipes I purchased while desperately trying not to freak out couldn't lift my spirit again.
Luckily, there is one thing which most of the time guarantees that I return home with a smile on my face: my cats. 
I have two cats, a female cat named Emma and a male, Leopold.
Emma is six years old, a tabby cat, usually looks very elegant but swears like a trooper when she's hungry. Leopold, two years old, on the other hand has a voice like Liza Minelli (that's why we sometimes call him Liza, too), resembles a cotton ball and has a somewhat autistic look.
I can't understand why some people call cats evil - yes, they are egocentric and I am sure Emma would willingly desert me for a piece of ham but still they are adorable, and funny, and cuddly, and mysterious, and I just melt away when they give me that intense look and slowly start to blink.
When I come home from work, I open the door and usually two cats jump out into the staircase, their tails pointing up into the air, they sound a happy "Miau" (German for "Meow/Miaow") and then follow me inside. A perfect welcome and one that even makes you forget the snot on the shopping cart. 

 

 

 

 

Leopold and Emma

Leo a.k.a. Liza a.k.a. Cotton Ball

Emma